Memories of the Gone
by Falling into the darkness
Summary: Kyoko's mother is laying on her death bed and all she wants is to be forgiven by her daughter for all those years. Falling ill, Kyoko refuses to see her mother. Time is running out. What will kyoko do?


Memories of the Gone

By: Danni Lynn

Chapter 1: Betray the Traitors

~+!Kyoko's Pov!+~

I glanced down at the city that laid far below in the dusk of twilight. The sun was nothing more than a blur of fading orange off in the horizon as buildings intersected with each other for as far as the eye could see. The balcony I was standing on was small and irrelevant to all the other grand sky-scrapers that loomed menacingly above. I had to crane my neck completely up just to see the top. The sound of traffic was just vibrations of a fading echo from where I stood, perched above the heads of many people. The heat of the summer's day was dwindling down to a cool evening breeze that ruffled my short hair. I let my finger trace the railing that protects you from a horrible fall to the ground.

Suddenly, a rather large shadow cast upon the sunlight that peered down into the hotel suite. I sighed and shook my head as I turned around and pouted playfully at the looming hulk of body that is to be Mr. Tsuruga. His manager, Mr. Yoshiro, observantly watched from the cooling shadows of the hotel room.

"Mrs. Mogami, what are you doing?"

Mr. Tsuruga asked me as I studied him. I had come by to tell him good luck on his latest movie that he was to start shooting in a couple days in Kyoto. The movie was supposed to be a big hit once it was finished and sent out to the public.

"Mrs. Mogami?"

Mr. Tsuruga called my name. I stared down at the busy street below and watched people move in a steady beat against the traffic of the cars.

"Hmm?"

I hummed as music made way to my ears from a few floors above. Its sweet melody eased my tense muscles that ached to rest. I wanted nothing more that to curl up and sleep. Mr. Tsuruga's hand wrenched me away from the traffic to look up into his face.

"Mrs. Mogami! What is it you came by here to tell me? If you could hurry up and leave that would be nice, I have a flight to catch in a few hours and have to pack. You being here is a bit distracting."

Mr. Tsuruga hustled me to the door. As I was shoved out into the hallway, I turned back towards the living room and opened my mouth to speak but before I could utter even a sound the door was slammed shut on my face.

"Good luck."

I whispered in a low voice to no one. With my head down, I made my way out of the four-star hotel and out into the never ending crowd of people on the side-walk. My day so far had been horrible. I had gotten myself fired from my job as Bo (again) by accidentally setting the stage on flames because I knocked down one of the lights that sparked and flamed. When I had tried to get the fire out, I had gotten a fire extinguisher that didn't work but when I had angrily tossed it aside I had hit the producer with it and gave him a concussion. By the time it was already the afternoon, I had the producer's lawyer warning he might press charges when I had come to apologize at the hospital. When I was leaving the hospital, Moko had called me and told me excitedly she had gotten a job in a movie that was taking shooting in Hiroshima and that she was packed up and leaving by plane in a few hours. And to top it all off I was sick as hell.

"Sometimes life hates me."

I grumbled to myself as I thought about today's events. As I made my way to the door of my new apartment, I bumped into somebody. Without looking up I muttered a quick apology as I flung open my door, but as I was walking into the apartment, I was stopped solid as somebody grabbed my wrist.

"Kyoko."

The voice I hated most in the entire world called out my name. I whipped around to see Sho Fuwa my childhood friend that I hated more than all seven floors of hell. As the hallway stopped spinning, I looked up to see Shotaro's expressionless eyes. I glanced up at him confused.

"What?"

I snapped at him as I wrenched my wrist free from his grip. His emotions were guarded so I had a hard time understanding why he was in the hallway of my new apartment.

"Kyoko, calm down. I'm not here to hurt you. Just to tell you."

Sho calmly explained to me. I stared him down as I looked at him in disgust.

"Tell me then!"

I snarled at him, ready to attack. I was ready to throw a string of insults at him but his next words stopped me dead.

"It's your mother, Saena Mogami. She's ill."

His words were gentle and he put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. I was too...scared? Angry? Happy? Stunned? Or maybe I was just...hollow. I frowned at Sho as fragments of my mother came thrashing into my mind, each memory being permanently printed into my soul, each memory more painful than the last. He watched me with concern eyes, he was always never the one to go to when you're at your lowest, because he always happens to stand and stare.

Tears stung my eyes and there was a lump forming in my throat but I held back and trudged into the living room where I fell heavily onto the couch. I hadn't been feeling well lately, but this had to be the sickest I've ever been. Mentally and physically. I've been shunned from society most of my life. My mother had turned her back on me. And when I was feeling the lowest I've ever felt, I've got the worst guy possible with me to help.

I begin to laugh hysterically by the outcomes of the day's events. Had it been anyone else other than stupid Shotaro telling me my mother is sick, I would have laughed at them in the face and slugged them for telling such a cruel joke to me. Sho's eyes widen in dismay at my sudden outburst but I couldn't help it. I just felt numb and hollow inside, much like after Sho left. But only this time, anger wasn't the feeling that burned madly inside me, nor was it sorrow, it was simply pity. No matter how much I pitied my mother, I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes stop. No matter how much I loved and hated my mother, she was still my mother. She was finally paying back the debt of her betrayal.

"Why are you laughing? This isn't a time for your games, Kyoko! Your mother doesn't have long to live!"

Sho yelled at me, which immediately made me stop laughing but I gave him a cold, distant smile. I reached up towards his face and caressed his cheek with my hand. Sho didn't refuse as I pulled him down to look me in the eyes at equal level.

"Let me tell you something, Shotaro, if you have seen what I have seen, and known what I have known, then you would be laughing too. That _woman_ is getting what she deserves, Sho. End of discussion."

Sho stared at me in complete horror. This was my cold side, the side of me that no one ever saw, this side was born from the hatred of my mother and all her lies that she always fed to the people around her. If you were to ask which of us were the more heartless, me or my mother, I would have to say my mother because she...

I stopped not wanting to go on with that thought and stood up and walked over to the refrigerator. I pulled out a bottle of sake I got as a parting gift when I moved out of Durmaya and placed it on the counter as I pulled out two cups. Sho gave me a confused look as I poured sake in each cup. I handed it to him, he took it without refusal.

"A toast to the death of my mother! Yahoo! I'm free Sho from that damn woman!"

I cheered as the room began to spin and my fever began to spike. Shivers ran through my body telling me to stop and lie down but I couldn't, there was something I had to do. I was able to gain my footing before I tripped and smiled evilly at Sho, who chucked the glass at me in complete rage.

"Kyoko! Damn it! She's your mother! You can't leave her in her hour of need! She is DYING! DYING!"

Sho screamed through clenched teeth as I feebly mange to dodge the oncoming glass cup that grazed my cheek deeply and shattered against the wall. Blood streamed down my chin and dripped onto my shirt. Pain flared but I didn't care, I was too intent on seeing Sho's reaction. He immediately regretted what he had done and stumbled towards me mumbling apologies. I came at him full force with my words.

"Why not? She left me when I was younger at your place. I needed her then. Nah? Alright, how about this? You left me in Tokyo to take care of a place you never used and left me practically homeless and out beaten. I needed you then. You see where I'm going with this? No? 'Kay, this will be the real ticker than. She left me. You left me. I'm easily duped and trained personally by none other than you, on how to be a personal slave, so what does the slave do when their master leaves them left for dead? They have two choices, they live or they die. I choose to live and by doing so I must avoid all obstacles that would cause me to die. Meeting you when I wasn't ready after you left me almost killed me. And if I see her, I would surly die. Nothing more, nothing less."

I finished my never-ending speech. Sho shook his head as he frowned at me as he waved my words off.

"She needs you, Kyoko. I know you aren't evil or heartless. I know you. You're just lost at the moment. Talk to your mom and fix things up. I know you can forgive her. I saw her at the hospital and she begged me to see you. _Your _mother pleaded with me to see you. Kyoko, she's clinging onto life by a thread only for the simple fact, she wants your forgiveness."

Sho explained to me. I set my untouched cup of sake down and wrapped my fingers tightly around the cup. I removed my mask of isolation and let my emotions that dwelled so deep in me that they burst like a bottle of new wine.

"I know this isn't a laughing matter, Sho, but it's hard to forgive the unforgivable. How can the heartless forgive the one's that shattered them like so? You were the picket that chipped my heart. She was the one that made it crumble."

I cracked the glass that I bared in my fists as tears began to leak out more profoundly than the first time that night. Sho turned away in shame at the memory of what he had done.

"Kyoko, if you feel this way about her then just tell her. Go see her."

Sho pressed farther into the wound that hurt me like so. I slammed my fist onto the counter to get his attention and angrily wiped my on-slaughter of tears.

"She can suffer! I don't care. She can die! I don't care. Leave me be, Sho."

I lashed out of him with everything I had and shoved him hard into the direction of the front door.

"But-"

Sho tried to intervene and stop me but I gave him a final shove out into the hallway.

"Stop throwing salt on the wound that you and my mother continue to make."

I told him icily before I slammed the door on his pleading face. He looked hurt and I know I should go see her but its hard because of what she did. I can't forgive her for that. She ruined everything. Or was it I? Was it I who shattered her or was it her that shattered me?

I leaned against the closed door as I blindly stared off into the distance, reliving memories that had already proclaimed my heart as theirs. Their grasp shielded my heart from any intruders as so they can make me never forget; as to make me suffer. Their existence was foreshadowing my closed emotions with their over-bearing presence so I would know that they were the ones who cause me pain. The people that had ever grasped my hands and I held their warmth close to my heart, in the end, broke me. Took my innocence and snatched it away. Grasp my love and brought it to ruins. Threw my life away and cut all ties with it. Caused my tears to never-end and let them fall. Smashed my soul in two and hammered away till it was dust on the wind.

Then, they came back after being hidden away for so long. Took their first step out of the closed closet and beseeches to find me. To hurt me more? To finish what they had started? To beg for forgiveness? To stir open old and new wounds alike? What is it they see when they glance right at me?

I was a tool. An object. That is what they saw. I know because they told me it was so. My noble period was simply the naivete of the makings of a blind child, and they had taken that away. The only thing that was mine.

My wrath, I had choked it down, time and time again, for them. Or for me? Now they come marching back as if I would crawl hands and feet back to them like a servant; a slave.

I was granted freedom, I seized it and they wish to take that away. I won't let them! What is mine is mine, not theirs.

My mother?

The burden of remembering her crashed back, and I gasped in mental pain as I slipped over the side of the double-edged blade. Our laughter was short-lived and then she had become violent. Relentless to take out all she had built up inside of her, on me. The only one that had ever given a damn about that woman. In the end, she got what she had wanted, she had driven me away.

She was dying, if the truth be told true. In a hospital, looking for me. I didn't even know her. Let alone call her 'mother'. My mother was dead to me. She was simply a woman that had been in my young life for a short period of time.

No matter what I was trying to convince myself otherwise, I knew it wasn't true. As people had looked down on me with undetermined hatred, speaking foreign words, making me sound like I was the one that was looking down on them, from my high perch and lovey-dove life, that they had thought I had, had, I was willing that my mother would hold me in her arms and cradle me like she had, a long time ago.

Yes, there had been love, but to my memory it was a glimpse that had flickered to life too slow for me to catch the hint of its existence.

I stood there like a statue, transfixed to the ground, unable to move forward, as thoughts flew my mind, a million a second. By the time my head had ceased its rant, I was spinning with dizziness. That was when, the coughing had started to rack through my body and the darkness was edging my vision. I leaned against the door for support as I felt what was like hacking up a lung, literally. Wave after wave, I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, I could barely see. Pain filtered through my chest, and for one agonizing moment, my heart had stopped, and my blood went cold with fear. _Well, that was before the seizure started._

My body jerked up and down, as it felt like as if I was a rag doll caught in between a dog's jaw as they vigorously ravaged my body apart. Every fiber in my being was singed in pain as if I was being dipped in acid. My scream was caught in my throat, as my body seared with a burning sensation, the one you would get if you were sitting to close to a fire. My nerves were raw and shaky as the pain finally ceased, though I still had the gut wrenching jolt of pain in my lower abdomen, like having a blade stuck in your stomach that you refused to get out. Any movement made the blade cut up your insides even more.

When I realized that I was on the ground on my hands and knees gasping for air, did I notice the putrid stink of blood splattered over my black-beige carpet and the front of my shirt. Hair cascaded over my shoulder and fell into my face as it was drenched in sweat. I shivered as coldness seeped into my body and I slowly made my way to my feet. I was making my way to the closest sink when there was a knock on the door.

"Kyoko! Let me in! I'm sorry that I hurt you! Please, your mother…she needs you. Let me in. Please. I beg of you." Shotaro's accursed voice rang through the think oak door and into my ears as it rung in my head like an conundrum.

I cursed him silently as I made my way to the door, as I stripped off the over-shirt I had originally wear as I tossed it to the ground. Having no intention of letting the bastard into my home, again.

I pulled out my door open, so slow that it groaned against the medal hinges, hiding my body behind the door, I poked my out into the hallway where a sober Shotaro stood, awaiting for me to give him attention to let him continue.

My skin was clammy and sweat trickled in beads down my forehead, as goose bumps rose on my arms. My sight wavered in and out of focus, as the scent of fresh blood swirled in my nostrils causing me to want to heave my stomach up.

Sho raised an eyebrow at my sudden change in attitude but said nothing. I sighed heavily, but flinched as a jolt of pain soared up my spine. "Are you okay?" He asked me. I stared him down with my coldest look. "None of your business, Shotaro." I icily replied.

He moved to fast for my weakened body to react as he pushed the door open and came face to face with me, which happened to be the same time that my legs gave out from under me as I started to fall to the ground. My vision blackened momentary; once I regained the composure of my senses back I kept my eyes closed as I clung desperately to what had caught me.

Warmth spread through my shivering body, and I sighed in gratitude for the luxury of it. My grip tightened as my abdomen was burdened with the pain once more as I whimpered for relief.

Unaware of a surprised pop-star when a memory came crawling back, as I uttered his name "Sho…"

_Fear sat at the bottom of my stomach as I cradled my injured leg. Tears stung my eyes, but my promise to never cry unless I was completely alone causing me to keep my mouth shut. Blood trickled down from the cuts as bruises littered my torso and arms. I had fallen from a steep eight foot cliff as it gave way underneath me. It had a beautiful view of the waterfall that was roaring away and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of Korn as he would fly in the air and gain back his wings so he could fly away. I had wanted fly and I had stood there dreaming of becoming a fairy and flying far, far away. I moaned softly as I stood on my feet and hobbled back into __the direction of my second home. I stumbled more than a few times and at one point had to crawl as the ground inclined on a more higher level, by the time I was half-way back from where I came from, it was already late in the night and I was beyond tired. I lied there on the forest floor in pain, hungry, cold and absolutely alone as I drifted off to sleep. I had dreamed of waterfalls and flying off then where right before I hit the ground I grew wings and flew high and far from everything._

"Stupid idiot, making me come out here all the way just to find her…." Sho's muttering abruptly ending the magical dream and I woke up with a start. I struggled to move but strong hands held me down. I glanced up to see Sho glaring down at me as he kept walking. My face burned red as I was carried like a princess back to her castle (Sho's home) with her prince (Sho {of course}) with the exception of the broken legs. I lied my head against his chest and let his body warmth linger with my mine before I fell once more into sleep.

Awareness seeped into my being as I became startled with the fact that I had been clutching to my EX-childhood friend's shirt for dear life as I reminisced about a time long since gone. I bolted to my feet and pushed him away, surprising not only him but myself also with the sudden movement. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" I screeched as I kept pushing him towards the hall but his strength and my weakened body clashing together was mostly my odds against me. He held his ground as he kept his hands on my shoulder to keep me upright and away from him.

When I realized what he was staring at my heart leap with fear and I spun and hurriedly picked up the blood stained shirt and threw it over the crimson splotched carpet. I kept my gaze on Sho who was simply watching me bewildered.

"That wasn't there before." His lips moved slowly as his voice creaked out in shaky breaths. For someone overly-confident he lost his composer pretty quick. I hesitated on watch to say. "Um…maybe you didn't see it. Its fake blood…" My poor lie was easily see through and my shoulders slumped into defeat. He shook his head as his eyes held much concern that I quickly disregarded. He has no right to care for me, if he abandoned me already. "No…tell me." His demand was absolute and one I couldn't defy knowing that the truth was already discovered. I sighed, "I'm sick." It was short and simple and the most that I knew of my knowledge.

Sho didn't press farther but led me to the couch and forced me to lie down. As soon as I was down and out, fatigue settled into my bones and I was drifting off to sleep but a sudden weight on the cushions startled me awake, and my eyes shot open.

Sho leaned forward with his head pressed against mine and our eyes were linked, gold met blue and they clashed together for a power control, only with their eyes, but the sapphire hues softened as they flooded with emotion that had been bottled away. I found myself drowning in those deep cerulean eyes once more as I had once done a many times in my adolescent life. My body trembled with desire but I was in no position to move as Sho leaned forward. His breath whispered across my cheeks causing them to redden in my fevered haze. "Kyoko….I-" Not wanting to hear what he had to say, I bent my head closer as I locked lips with his and the heat of passionate desire swirled around in the atmosphere. My heart skipped a beat with a new kindled love that I thought had been vanquished and was of no more and like a drug, I craved more. Oh, so much more.

Suddenly, an intruder slipped in between my lips startling me, but instinct was in control as I granted access. Tongues were battling in a one-on-one fight, but I gave in, and let our tongues explore and search. His hand ran through my hair and grasped it with a firm grip, deepening the kiss.

The maddening desire to quench the uncontrollable hunger that raged in the body was beginning hard to keep in check.

Suddenly, the magic was lost as hot raptures of knots coiled inside my stomach and sent shock waves up my spine, causing me to break away and gasp in pain. Having the need to move, I pushed Sho and scrambled to my feet, but the sudden motion caused my vision to falter and I stumbled slightly before I caught myself. I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes from the spinning room. Then, becoming aware of another presence, I opened my eyes and stared at Shotaro, my enemy. His eyes held an emotion I no longer knew and refuse to feel, as I hardened my gaze and made a straight face. This was my freedom. I wouldn't have it robbed away from me. Not again.

"I shall not forgive you." Was all that needed to be said. That was my final answer, an answer Shotaro and I both knew what meant.

_First chapter, complete! Tell, me what you think, and review….._

_-Danni_


End file.
